we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize