college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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