The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize