The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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