true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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