I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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