There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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