if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize