you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize