I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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