I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
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I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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