So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Randomize