How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
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Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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