Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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