I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize