toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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