Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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