Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
These tits shall not be calmed
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