Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize