We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize