You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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