I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize