I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize