Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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