Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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