I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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