Plan B is the new Plan A
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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