Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
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I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Your cock deserves a montage
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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