I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize