I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize