Where are you?
In a non slutty way
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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