spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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