I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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