eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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Watching her eat just hurts me
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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