I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize