oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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