Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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