i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
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Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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