I like to think it a success when the cops are called
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize