dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So much rum. So many feels.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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