my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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