Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's blow job season.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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