Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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