His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize