when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize