I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize