we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize