Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
should my penis look like a turkey
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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