So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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