his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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