Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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